Eldest son is leaving for college…is that what this feeling is?

So, it might not coming to a huge shock to those parents out there that have had the wonderful opportunity to send your child away to school. This is that week for me. And I am finding it much more difficult in ways I didn’t expect.

A little background, my son splits his time with my wife and I, and his mom. What that meant to us was that we had to learn to maximize both the time together, and the effectiveness of the parenting while we he was with us. Now as all parents know, we are in a bit of denial when it comes to our parenting effectiveness. We all think we have it mastered, but in the end, it’s a bit of an unknown as to how much sinks in.

So after spending 13 years in this reality, I now find myself wondering how much I didn’t get to teach him that he needs to know. He has become this amazing young adult with passion about many things, and talent in many areas. This is the time to trust that in that very short time (it seemed) that he has taken what he has learned and will use it to shine his light to a whole new collection of individuals.

The thing I was not prepared for is the shortness of breath, spinning anxiety and just general stress that has accompanied this milestone. Am I alone there? Of course there are the blended feelings of sadness and happiness. But these incapacitating flashes of i don’t know what…that was not expected.

My eldest son is an amazing young adult. I celebrate that. As far as the rest of these feelings, I need to figure out a healthy way to nudge my bird out of the nest. I guess I have 10 more years to figure out the next one. As for this particular one, I have to take what the universe is teaching me, and learn from it and grow.

But I can say…it’s flipping hard!


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