50…a reflection

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So..I turn 50 this week.  I have literally been looking forward to that number since…well, I turned 40.  An “age” hasn’t really ever carried the stigma for me that it may for others, I am more interested in the number.  I had always said I wanted to live to 100.  So if I’m lucky enough to do that, I’m halfway there.  The last 10 years of my life have been the most challenging, most liberating, most joyous, most frustrating, most …awakening.

Getting older is the privilege we are all given.  The choices you make as you get older are yours individually.  The most compelling observation of my journey so far, is as you get older, you seem to have the tendency to want to “settle” more.  To accept things as written in stone.

There is a famous quote that was falsely attributed to Winston Churchill that reads “If you’re not a liberal when you’re 25, you have no heart.  If you’re not a conservative by the time you’re 35, you have no brain.”

There are so many others “Activism is for the young”, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”, “getting old sucks”, “why bother?”

We seem to have a societal expectation to settle.

I know sometimes I have felt that way about things..then, I step back and say wait a minute…maybe not.  For me,  I think that I have learned that I have a need to be still, which some might mistake for settling…but that is not me settling, that is me taking inventory of where I am, charging my batteries for the next new thing.

Yes, it’s true that our bodies change, our metabolisms change.  But change is part of life…the root of a healthy life.  Those changes are necessary to prepare you for the greatest of ages…middle and old age.

I have been so blessed to have a family to love, who love me back.

To have friends to love, who love me back.

To have a body to love, that loves me back.

And, to have a universe to love, that loves me back.

My 50 year old self is ready to learn new things, to listen to new music, to eat new foods, to explore new lands.

I will continue to make a promise to myself to not settle…


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