When I was growing up, the first superhero I saw on TV was George Reeves’ Superman. I was totally enthralled. He could leap buildings and outrun a bullet. No matter what the crisis was, he was able to easily overcome. More super heroes showed up on TV soon after. Spiderman, Hulk, Aquaman, Ultraman, Batman. What drew me in was how amazing their goodness was to help humanity at all costs. It spoke to me. Like I’m sure it spoke to countless others.
Early on, I hated the idea of kryptonite for Superman. I hated that Batman or Spiderman could be foiled. I hated that Ultraman had a timer in the middle of his chest. As a child, I saw it as an artificial way to limit their ability to by mighty. My thoughts screamed “No, there’s work to be done! There’s people to save darn it. (big cusser as a kid)”
The ultra protagonist is a plot device that always rings my bell. Superheroes were first, then came Captain Kirk and Spock, then Yoda and Luke Skywalker. Hell, even Chief Brody battling to keep the oceans safe.
Each of these had their own ultra antagonist. Lex Luther, The Joker, Goblin, Klingons, Darth Vader, and a big ass great white shark. All creating a situation for our heroes to overcome.
Isn’t it still a fun debate these days to discuss who your favorite superhero is? And why? A friend of mine recently asked me this question, and it caused me to reflect enough to write these words down. Why was Superman always my favorite? And why was Batman my least favorite?
I am a father of three boys, and one of four children born to my parents, also all boys. Reflecting upon how my parents raised me, has given me insight on how I want to raise my own children. I believe we are all like this in someway. We either parent the way our parents did because we liked it, or we parent the opposite way our parents did because we didn’t. The one thing that my parents did not make room for, was imperfection, not because either of them was a tiger parent, but because neither of them celebrated failure. Even though they both failed quite often.
As a parent myself, the biggest gift that I give my children, is the space to show my flaws in front of them. I don’t always have the answers. I don’t always make the right decision. I have shadows that show up in the form of sadness, anger, depression or anxiety.
I find myself in a place at this stage in my life that I did not expect to find myself, one of starting over. In the middle of this new challenge, I think about Superman and kryptonite. Wouldn’t it have been so much easier for Superman if there was no such thing? For me, the biggest lessons in growth that I have ever experienced are those that allow me to look back at the places where I failed and had the opportunity to then celebrate, learn and grow. So as I sit and feel this new reality in my life, I realize that kryptonite was an opportunity for Superman to overcome a difficult situation (usually orchestrated by Lex Luthor).
As a 58-year-old man, I have been blessed with many amazing experiences. And the best ones always had some hiccup. A chance given to overcome either a less than ideal situation or a full on dumpster fire. None of those hiccups were caused by an ultra antagonist thankfully. We all experience situations in life where our weaknesses are put on full display, we then have an opportunity to not only survive them, but to grow from them.
I think the most interesting thing about superheroes is that they all represent an ideal that appeals to each of us. I may not be able to leap a building in a single bound, but I am a great father, a great friend and a great partner. The lesson that I want my children to see, is that even in this very challenging time, we all will learn and grow. And, on the other side, be better for it.
The early reason Superman was my favorite is obvious now, if not then. No flaws, very few weaknesses. We all think we want that. With age, I realize the humanness of Batman much more aligns with most of us, he is just a human becoming a superhero when he needed to. Just like we all do for our children, friends and family when we are called upon. Our weaknesses, we realize, eventually, are all part of our strengths.
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