On Monday, December 6th, we learned that our friend Fern, had passed away. We had known that she recently had been struggling with breathing, but were completely shocked to learn of this loss. Today was the memorial, where family and friends spoke into a microphone, expressing their love for Fern, in the best ways they could. The shock and sadness still so fresh and heavy on each of their faces.
Even with this weight, the words spoken were true to who Fern was to each of them. It was an honor to hear.
These are my observations of Fern:
From the moment I met her, at a 6 AM yoga class 16 years ago taught by Celeste, it was obvious that Fern was not like anybody else I had ever met. Quick to engage and unafraid of challenging herself, it was clear that she had a light shining from within her.
Celeste and Fern grew very close immediately. They formed a workout group that got together twice a week to laugh and sweat in Fern’s basement. I was told by more than one participant in that group that it was like a sanctuary to those that were there. A place to truly feel safe in sisterhood. They called themselves, fittingly, the Underground Badasses. The relationship between Celeste and Fern led to many journeys, both close and abroad. It also led to a close up view of the magic of Fern for me.
As the years passed, if there was a party, Fern was there, if there was an important event, Fern was there. It seemed that she celebrated those close to her with every fiber of her being. That was clearly evident with her family. She spoke so highly of them, all the time. Her friends were also supported as though they were an extension of her family. I know I felt it. After losing someone close to me, a day or so later, the door bell rang, and it was Fern. I told her that Celeste wasn’t home, but she just smiled and said, “I came here to see you. I heard that your heart was hurting”. Of course she had food with her.
On one of her birthdays, she expressed the desire to go clubbing at an EDM bar in Denver. So, of course, we went. I have an indelible image of Fern with a smile ear to ear, dancing in the center of the floor, with a crowd of people many years her juniors. None of whom came close to matching her light.
That was who I knew Fern to be. When she was diagnosed with cancer, she expressed fear, but she also expressed that ability to not shy away from a challenge. Of course she rose up to face and beat it, twice! Not surprising to me at all.
Many times, over the years, Celeste and I have said, we want to embrace life like Fern does. Her spirit of adventure was just one of her gifts, but the one that I aspire to more than any other, is her sense of connection to her family and friends.
She was 71. She will be missed.
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